12 January 2008

I'm fancy like ketchup!

Y'all need to check out this comic called Cat and Girl. This one in particular is talking to me right now. Props to K for telling me about it. I'm so glad there are other people in this world who have super dark senses of humor and aren't afraid to show it.

Unfunny cat news:

Got Zoe the special diabetic catfood. She won't eat it. She's currently on my desk chair snoozing in the sun while I crouch over the laptop at the dining room table. I still don't really understand how she persuaded me to do that. I guess the mystery of Zoe is why I keep her at all, let alone feed her baby food and spend hundreds on vet care. (I will actually try mixing the new food with baby food to see if she'll eat more of it. Failing that, I'll have to mix it with water and syringe it directly into her mouth. I can't WAIT for that day.)

Inty is still barfing about once a day (which I guess is progress.) I'm changing their litter from Feline Pine to S'wheat Scoops in case the Feline Pine dust she inhales is what's making her barf. I love her too, even though there are two recent piles of puke under this very dining room table which I will clean as soon as I publish this post.

Unfunny wedding news:

My divorce is final. That's actually good news, because it means I can get remarried. Except I got home yesterday to a letter from the wedding venue informing me that they were grateful to know of my cancellation on the site and regretting to tell me that unfortunately the deposit couldn't be refunded. I DIDN'T CANCEL THE VENUE. Of course I got home at like 6 to this letter (and lots of barf, bonus), so besides leaving a disco-freak-out voicemail there's not much I can do. I'll be out of town most of next week for work, but Dave will handle this. I'm sure it's just a mixup, but what the fucking fuck?

Unfunny Dave news:

His back continues to be in spasm and he continues to be insane. He continues to not see a doctor for either of these conditions, despite currently being in school to become a medical professional. (Seriously, just get some vicodin or something, honey, because otherwise I'm going to have to put you out of your misery myself. I'm sure I'd go to jail but apart from the constant rape and unending boredom and the social stigma*, it seems like a nice way to get away from it all.)

Unfunny leaky faucet news: even turning the hot water off under the sink doesn't stop the drip.

Unfunny oil company news: Turns out I am still getting oil at a capped price, they just increased the price a whole bunch without letting me know. Fuckwads.

On the plus side: apparently I have a lot of compassionate friends, because y'all are very supportive with the comments and the emails and I do completely appreciate it.

* I'm sure I'd cope well with prison, don't you think? Seeing how well I'm coping with two cats and an oil bill.


seppaku said...

Geez, poor lil Zoe. And poor lil Inty, probably not feeling too well given her tribe's current state of distress (cats and people!)

Things you can try to get Zoe to eat besides the syringe-in-mouth method:

- Give her a saucer of warm chicken broth
- warm her food slightly in the microwave. Test it beforehand to make sure its not too hot.
- Two words: canned pumpkin. For some reason, all of my animals are batty for it. Bonus: high in fiber and complex carbs, which is great for a diabetic animal.
- Drizzle a little albacore tuna juice on top of her food
- Sprinkle some dried bonito flakes (basically dried chipped tuna) on her food.
- Pierce a fish-oil caplet (I buy them at TJ's) and squirt the stinky all over their canned food. This produces a hissy feeding frenzy in my house.

You can also try to dot her nose with the food and let her lick it off before you stick a syringe down her gullet. Nothing ruins a cat's day more than a forcefeeding. Hell, it'll probably ruin your day as well. ;)

Best of luck with that, and with everything else. Sounds like you've got your hands full.

But as my buddy, William Ernest Henley says:

OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Kaethe said...

I feel your many pains. The whole damn family has been sick this week and the Spouse is apparently Dave's twin, although the spasms here are do to the Cough and are abdominal.

But hey, Readerville looks lovely. So there's light in the winter gloom.

Also, I've always thought prison would provide a great place to read.

Cara deBeer said...

Seppaku - THANK YOU. Zoe actually got hungry enough to eat the cat food and has now decided she likes it. (So does Inty. Inty likes whatever Zoe likes. Heh.) But that is great advice. How come the vet didn't tell me anything like that?

Kaethe, did you ever read the Dr. Doolittle books? In one of them he gets himself put in prison so he has time to himself to write a book. I always loved that.

Kaethe said...

I haven't read the Dr. Doolittle books, but now I guess I'll have to.

Those are some amazingly good ideas for feeding the cat.

Cara deBeer said...

check 'em out - I think Hugh Lofting is the author. I think the girls are just the right age for them. I haven't read one since I was 11 or so and they might be very un-PC, but there's lots of good quirky stuff.

Kaethe said...

As I recall, Doolittle is a vegetarian. If anything they might be too PC. We'll keep an eye out.