19 February 2008

the internet is awesome, yet again

check out this blog, stuff white people like. this satire pleases me almost as much as the idea of making gloves out of babyskin. Even funnier (for me) is the fact today I am actually wearing the sweater pictured on the girl on the rocks in the current masthead. heheheheheh.

on dogs, for example:

White people generally believe that dogs have human emotions and that they are capable of loving certain TV shows, films, and music. “Buster just loves watching Six Feet Under!” Even though most dogs would enjoy watching Hitler if he were getting attention every time it came on the TV.

They also believe that their dogs share similar tastes in food - “Little Ben Kweller likes the Organic food the best.” Forgetting the fact that dogs enjoy eating their own feces, and pretty much anything that falls onto the floor.

I dare you to read it and not chortle. and yeah, I totally feed the cats special organic food and let Zoe groom my hair even though I know she licks her own asshole with that tongue, so.

thanks to pandagon for the tipoff.


seppaku said...

I love that blog.

Let me tell you, though... When I walk the Assholes (my white person lovey-dovey nickname for the dogs), its only white people who even dare to approach us. And when they do, they crouch down and croon or whistle or chirp, thrusting their hands into my dogs faces. They don't even ask, "hey, is your doberman / pit bull gonna try to eat me?" I even had some oblivious white mommy dangle her bite-sized baby on the pavement 'just to say hi." The Assholes are wary of and embarrassed by this sort of thing. They look at me like, don't let them touch me, eh?

People who are not white, though... Asian people, black people, Indian people, middle eastern people, hispanic people; generally speaking, they will cross the street, dive into doorways, walk in the gutter, and herd their small children when they see us coming.

Oh, and, I don't know about 'organic' food for animals, but all of mine eat totally kick-ass and consequently expensive food (Natural Balance Duck and Potato) and are all extremely healthy. It is one of the most valuable contributions you can make towards your animal's health and longevity. Maybe I'm just white that way, but it's how I roll.

Cara deBeer said...

that blog is satire, so they point out some of the sillier attitudes adopted by white people about stuff that is really a good thing, like recycling and being down with spending more on pet food to keep them healthier in the long run.

Being environmentally consious in general is a pretty decent thing to be. For example, it's hard to defend eating meat unless you live on a farm and raise and slaughter the animals humanely yourself. (Well, or if you're okay with the fact that the animals are treated horribly and pumped full of hormones and steriods and that the meat-for-food industry creates a ginormous carbon footprint.) That said, I love meat and I'm not going veg for ethical reasons any time soon (financial reasons maybe) but at least knowledge of the industry practices is something I try not to shy away from.

Yeah. I don't get the fucking morons who think it's okay to run up to a dog they don't know and pet it. You need to ASK, people. Hopefully the dog will bite out their reproductive organs so they stop contaminating the gene pool.

It never occurred to me that that's a particularly white thing (having only walked other people's dogs on an ad hoc basis) but now that you mention it, I think you're probably right.

Come to think of it, I'm not sure the kittehs eat organic food, but it's definitely human-grade high quality shit. Although what we've got is probably all going to have to be binned anyway, since it seems Inty is likely to need exploratory surgery to diagnose her. (Argh. Also, that expenditure is going to have to wait until March. Is there some way to win the lottery without having to buy a ticket?)

and ... "organic" is a giant and brilliantly-executed marketing concept. Until it's regulated better, I won't make a particular effort to be buying organic unless it tastes better.